Sometimes my true identity gets hidden behind certain parts of who I am. They start to manifest and define me as a person- making me feel like I have no other choice then to give in. This photo deals with mental illness, which is something I am very familiar with. The winter of 10th grade I was diagnosed with a mood disorder most similar to bipolar but with less manic and more depressive episodes. I constantly had to tell people the reason I wasn’t at school was because I was sick and  I was. But not in the way they thought.

       My photograph deals with something very personal to me and many times I considered not taking it or showing it, even now, because I didn’t want to reveal this side of myself to others. I don’t necessarily have a fear of being judged, but I don’t want my illness to become who I am in others’ eyes. I do not want my identity to be overridden by something I can’t control or give the misconception that I’m never or can’t be happy because that’s not true.

       I chose to write ‘I want to be happy’ on the pills because their main purpose is to help with the depression side and I thought it was appropriate since, even though I take them everyday, I am most reliant on them during my lowest points. I also wrote this because it’s simple to grasp and honest; whether I’m struggling or not I always want to be happy, even if my own brain is preventing me from doing so.

       I would like to re-shoot this image because I don’t like how it expresses my idea and it seems detached or impersonal. I do like the way the dark background contrasts with the colors though, and I like the fact that I used different pills, which was intentional to make a point that a lot of people, 1 in 4, suffer from mental illness and all take different medications to combat it- hopefully making the message more broad and inclusive.